Warrior

I wake up and you are there always lurking around the corner.
I never know when you will strike next.
You have taken so much from me.
Time from my children,
Hope of a future unburdened by pain.
I can never plan anything in advance.
Fear holds me hostage and pain leaves me alone.
No one truly understands the solitude that you have caused.
The stares the questioning looks when I use a cane or handicap spot on the really bad days,
The "You don't look sick" or "You're to young" or my personal favorite "Maybe if you lost a little weight"
The sadness in my children's eyes when I cannot do for them as they would ask.
I would never wish this on anyone.
Always questioning why I was chosen.
You very nearly took my life
I struggled to walk barely able to stand without you rearing your ugly head and knocking me back down with a vengeance.
You made me miss out on so much of my children's lives.
Made me take twice as long to graduate college. Required a brain surgery just to TRY and relieve symptoms that you have caused because there is NO CURE.
Made me have to realize how strong I truly am.
You may cause me daily pain but you also taught me what it means to be brave in the face of overwhelming odds and to fight and appreciate every single day that I am given.
You ruined my life and changed who I am forever.
Because of you I now know the true meaning of life.
I can never forgive you for what you have done to me but I have found peace in the knowledge that if I can help just one person like me then I will have won.
With all my love and anger,
A Chiari Warrior